the game

...today, i woke up with this stupid, absurd, ridiculous and so childish thought, actually i couldn't even sleep because of the anxiety that caused to me (at the same moment i was reviewing all the images of my immediate past...):

why doesn't anyone seems to care about what's happening?

everyone seems to have "move on" and going on with their lives...

and i'm the only stupid girl who is stuck in the emotional & mellow "love" world

trying to figure it out what went wrong or what could i still do...

but instead, everybody smiles, celebrate, go on, have fun, everyone but me...

didn't i love you enough?, that, not even for some respect or consideration to our whatever we have had could make you show some interest?

but i was so wrong. 

it doesn't means that i need what normal people need as a party, go out, celebrate or some distraction to go on or pretend to go on with my life... & not even in this kind of moments i use to do that kind of things... so i thought that we are simply different, sadly sorrowfully, but in the other hand fortunately, different & i made a self statement: 

this is it. that's enough. i renounce to love. i'm no victim whatsoever (in case you misunderstood what you've read).

i'm trying to understand the game, how normal people play, behave & deal with the things are suppose to be important or were important in some part of their lives. i think i will, although it hurts strong enough. 

or who knows, maybe they don't care, maybe they don't care at all. & love is in fact only an ilusion.

M